Grandma Moved!

Grandma Heise will be 100 in January. She is my mother's step mother having married Grandpa over 40 years ago. Yesterday she moved from the Retirement area, Southview, into Gardenview, the Long Term area of Parkview Meadows. Now we truly have a family affair. I work full-time as charge nurse on the night shift. Mom has been a resident there for almost 2 years and now Grandma has joined. Life has become quite hard for Grandma. Her eyesight has dimmed significantly, her hearing is extremely dull, and there is now increased difficulty with her thinking. However, she is in a good place, with many wonderful caregivers around her. I am blessed to be able to be there as well to help her in this final part of her journey.

Remembering....

Today I am remembering my beloved sister, Phyllis who left us and went to heaven 5 years ago. I still miss her so much. There are many others who also miss her and have had to learn how to live without her. She filled so many roles for so many people. She was wife, mother, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, joker, listener, counsellor, confidante, always ready to talk, shop, quilt, sew, discuss ideas, give advice, laugh, cook, bake, read, joke around, pray, make a new friend.

I think of some of the changes over the past 5 years. One new thing is Facebook. She would have loved reconnecting and deepening connections with many old and new friends. Other changes are the new extended family members who have either been born or entered the family through marriage. She would have been able to watch the young mature and the elderly get older.

Yes, it is true that time has passed and there have been many changes since Phyl left. But I believe we all can agree that knowing and being in relationship with her has made a great impact upon us. We will never forget her.

Busy Week

We have had a busy week. Tom was in hospital from Oct 30-Nov 8. Dunnville Hospital is an amazing little hospital and Tom received the best of care by Dr. Reddy and the nurses there. He's home now with Lifeline in place and with Alicia staying with him at night. After everything she's been through, she's quite nervous about her Dad's health. Although he was considered well enough to come home, he is still very weak and has a troublesome cough. Alicia, of course is still mourning the death of her stillborn daughter 3 weeks ago. She has also lost her uncle Bob Solon, Tom's sister Wanda's husband,who died suddenly on Tuesday with a massive stroke. It certainly has been a rough week for many in our family.
This very familiar reading expresses my experience through these days.

One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along
the beach with the Lord.

Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed
two sets of footprints in the sand,
one beloning to him and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the
very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life there is
only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most
you would leave me."

The Lord replied "My precious, precious child,
I love you and would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffereing,
when you see only one set of footprints in the sand,
it was then that I carried you."

FRIENDS

These past couple weeks have been very difficult for our family. Less than two weeks ago, my stillborn granddaughter, Orie, was born. Before that time and since, Tom, my husband, has been feeling increasingly unwell. After 3 visits to the local ER, today he was admitted to the hospital diagnosed with congestive heart failure and pneumonia. It indeed has been a stressful time.

Dealing with these things is not easy. However, as I reflect, I realize how much support and strength has come from my friends. I am so blessed to have wonderful friends around me, with whom I can share my difficulties and burdens.

Thank you, Lord, for friends.

Believing that God Makes No Mistakes

October 21, 2007

Today is the day that we celebrate the birth and mourn the death of precious little Orie Phyllis Alice Harper, born October 17, 2007 at 1036 p.m. Orie, it was a privilege to briefly get to know you and to spend some wonderful moments with you - admiring the workmanship of God, as we gazed at your perfectly shaped little face, arms, hands, legs and feet. Although we never heard you scream "Hello" to the world, or felt you wiggling in our arms, you are very special to us. God makes no mistakes. Your life has made an impact on each of us. We are reminded that there are many things that we do not understand and that cause us pain. We will miss watching you grow, getting to know you, being with you on our family vacation at Camp Kahquah, joining around our large family table.

I can almost hear you speaking the words of Psalm 139 in a prayer to our Heavenly Father.
"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous - oh how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed."

Orie, you have gone on before us. We anticipate seeing you again one day.

On being thankful

Something I've been pondering for awhile is related to the matter of being thankful. The Scriptures are full of reminders about always being thankful. A couple verses in the New Testament have slightly different slants. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says "give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. "
Ephesians 5:20 says it a little differently, " always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ."

These verses are different in that the first mentions being thankful in every circumstance, and the second talks about giving thanks for everything...there is a difference! I'd like to take things to the greatest degree and learn how to give thanks for everything.

I recently came across an old pamphlet that I received many years ago, while looking through the Bible I got from Tom before we were married. It talks about accepting every situation we encounter with praise and thanksgiving, knowing that God is using everything that happens to "refine our gold and consume our dross". This is making sense to me, and now I'm trying to put into practice, thanking God for everything. Sometimes it's not easy, but it does bring about a sense of peace, believing that everything that crosses my path has a purpose and has first been filtered though God's loving fingers. Therefore it is something that I can thank God for, because He, indeed, is always present within me, teaching me, guiding me, refining me, and working on consuming my dross.

"Please bless John and Linda"

I worked a 12-hr shift which began at 7pm tonight. That meant I wasn't able to
have my regular devotional time. I am taking my break at work right now and doing my Bible reading online. The readings are from Isaiah 40 and 41 in the Old Testament and Ephesians 1 in the New Testament. There are many rich verses found in these portions. I'm thinking of John and Linda right now in this difficult time they're in. "Lord, please assure them of Your love, Your Presence, Your power at work within them giving them the strength they need to carry on."

I've included some wonderful verses from my reading.

Look up into the heavens. Who created all the stars? He brings them out like an army, one after another, calling each by its name. Because of his great power and incomparable strength, not a single one is missing. How can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

For I hold you by your right hand— I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.

I also pray that you will understand the incredible greatness of God’s power for us who believe him. This is the same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in the heavenly realms.

"Serve one another in love..."

I was reading from Galations 5 a couple nights ago. Very clearly the mandate was given...

"use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself."

I am now at work and there are lots of opportunities to put this into practice.

"Lord, please help me to serve others in love. Help me love the residents and co-workers as myself, and to be more like you."

Pennsylvania

Tom and I had a wonderful trip to Pennsylvania last weekend. The purpose of our trip was to visit our good friends, John and Linda. Since we were in the area, we arranged to have supper with Vern and Meredith Bosserman. Vern had been our pastor for several years when we were all much younger...so we met at the Olive Garden in Harrisburg for supper. Their second daughter, Laura and her almost 2 year old, Abby, joined us for supper.

Vern wanted to show us the church they recently built for their congregation of 3-400 on the outskirts of Harrisburg. It is lovely, and it so amazing that this congregation was built up "from scratch". They have 15 acres there and are happy with the opportunities that owning land brings to a congregation. The church is called New Hope and is Brethren in Christ. http://www.anewhope.org/Default.aspx

Then we moved on to Carlisle where Linda and John live. John is continuing to fight the enemy he is up against, that being ALS. We were amazed to witness the courage he demonstrates so clearly. He engages in conversation with his special keyboard, with which he spells words which are then spoken by the machine. He indeed is a man of quick wit and it was great to interact with him although he is no longer able to speak. I enjoyed spending time with Linda, with whom I have been friends since our teen years. We met at NCC, went through Nurses' Training, dated our husbands together, raised our children together, went to church together, and after Linda branched out into a new career, Pastoring, they moved away to Carlisle. It was so good to be together and to share deeply as we have done so many times throughout the years. She is Pastor of Congregational Care at the Brethren in Christ Church in Carlisle, so yes we were at another church. It is a thriving congregation with over 1000 attending 5 different services and they have begun the first phase of a building program which will take them over the next 20 years. The church has been very supportive and helpful to John and Linda during these challenging times. http://carlislebic.org/

Like I said, it was good to get away. It is good to be in connection with long-time friends. They are all very special.

September 10, 1921 Darjeeling, India

September 10 is my mother's 86th birthday. A little more than 86 years ago, her mother, Ruth Brechbill Heise, who was living with her husband doing missionary work in the hot plains of Bihar, India, was nearing the end of her first pregnancy. She boarded a train, and travelled up through the beautiful wooded Himalayan mountains past tea gardens, tea factories and forests, through terrain which was treacherous by times, until she reached a place of more comfortable climate -the town of Darjeeling. There she found her way to a rest home called Gloven, where she would wait until the time of the birth. There on September 10, 1921, Naomi Ruth entered the world. I can only imagine the dark brown eyes, the wisps of black hair, and the little turned up nose that greeted her mother upon her arrival.

Little Naomi Ruth, her younger brother Clarence and their parents sailed home to North America, when she was 5 years old, on a ship, which on one occasion, got weighted down dangerously to one side, when the passengers moved over to look up to see what was then a new phenomenon, an airplane, flying overhead.

They went to her mother's home in Indiana for a time. After that they moved to the Toronto area in Ontario, and then moved to the Niagara area where they spent most of their lives. Mom became a Registered Nurse, a career which she loved and excelled in, and worked as a nurse until her retirement at age 65. Before her nurses' training, she had already met the man she fell in love with, who she married and with whom she raised the four children they had together. After 59 years of marriage he still brings a smile to her face and causes her heart to skip a beat, when she hears his voice and his footsteps on the threshold of her room in the Long Term Facility where she is presently a resident. The ravages of a condition known as Progressive Supranuclear Palsy have now taken their toll, causing her to be wheelchair bound, and to have difficulty with her speech and with swallowing.

Mom, you've come a long way in your 86 years. I just want to give you the recognition you are deserving of at this time and tell you that I love you.

A rather new daily practice...

I was challenged several months ago when I heard Becky Tirabassi on the radio. She promoted the idea of writing one's prayers down in a journal and doing it daily. After thinking about how, in my busy life this could be possible, I devised a plan and a schedule. Now after several months of working at this, I am finding this to be a wonderful experience. Having some time on a daily basis, to read Scripture, meditate, pray, and write my prayers, brings me much peace and helps me to process my thoughts, reflect on my life, and hear what God is saying to me. My desire at this time in my life is that I would know Jesus Christ more deeply and be able to reflect Him in my thoughts, words and actions. I believe practicing this discipline is one way of bringing this desire to pass.

Powerful...

Tonight Tom and I were watching the day's news on CNN, when an interesting item caught my attention. They had an interview with Brian "Head" Welch, former lead guitarist with the rock band, KORN. He turned his life to Jesus Christ 2 years ago, was delivered from his meth drug addiction, and walked away from the band. His book "Save Me From Myself" was released in July of this year, and tells his story.

I'm excited tonight to hear about this amazing transformation. I know these things can happen, but it is amazing to be aware of this man being totally transformed, delivered from his drug addiction, and choosing to now become a dedicated follower of Jesus.

Whatever challenge you may be facing, be assured that God is able "to do more than all we ask or imagine..."

Connie

Night sky

One of the hightlights of working night shift is the drive to work! Tonight is a warm, humid night. The moon is almost full and casting yellow light on my hands as I drive, and the stars are twinkling alongside the bright moon. Soft music is playing and I can't help but think of God, the Creator of the heavens and the earth. Words from Psalm 8 come to mind "When I look at the night sky and see the work of Your fingers—the moon and the stars you set in place—what are mere mortals that you should think about them.."

I must admit, my heart has been heavy tonight with some great concerns. However, I am thankful for the joy that the "night sky" brings.

I arrive at work, my 84 year old father is in the lobby greeting me with some Pennsylvania-Dutch treats, "whoopie pies" to share with my co-workers.

So I begin another night shift.

Orie's Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray thee Lord my soul to keep,
If I should die before I wake,
I pray thee Lord, my soul to take

Dear Jesus,

Here I am, cradled deep within my mother, in my quiet, secluded home. It is now 22 weeks since I was made. I know that I am precious to You and am loved by You. You decided the colour of my eyes and whether my hair will be curly or straight. You are the One who put me together inside my mother's body, and I praise You because of the wonderful way You created me. Everything You do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt. Nothing about me is hidden from You! Even before I am born, You have written in Your book everything I will do.
Please keep me safe in Your arms all the days of my life. Please bless Mommy and Daddy and keep them safe too.

Amen

Highlight

A few years ago, we had another very special person who joined with us in "The Retreat". That person was my sister, Phyllis, who passed away from cancer a little less than five years ago.

She and I developed a special morning routine. We would rise earlier than the others and make some fresh coffee. Then we'd head off the porch with a coffee in one hand and our "Face to Face" devotional in the other, going along the path leading up over some rocks, down a steep incline, and finally to our special place above the very large "Jesus Saves" rock which rises up several metres above the lake along the shoreline. The mist would be rising above the still waters in the lake below us, the silence being broken only by a loon, some chattering squirrels, or a jumping fish. We would pray together, sometimes cry and sometimes laugh hysterically together.

She has been gone for 5 summers now, but I still awaken early, grab my things, make the trek along the pathway until I reach that sacred spot where I have so many memories with one I loved so much who has departed, and continue to have an indescribably wonderful time with the One I love, who will never leave me.

Back to work!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very thankful for my job and my full time position working in Long Term Care, but we had such a great time on our vacation. It was truly extra special to holiday with my husband, children, their husbands, grandchildren, nephews, nieces, inlaws, old friends, new friends. The scenery at Camp Kahquah is spectacular. I love the lake with it's ever changing mood, the trees, the fresh air. While Tom fishes, I talk. It's great. This year, I didn't even bring a book to read.



We stay in the cabin called The Retreat, the same place I stayed when I attended Teen Camp in 1964. I can still remember some of the girls who were in that cabin with me. There was a little room off to the side of our room back then. A newly married couple was assigned to that little room barely separated from our roomful of teen aged girls. When I think of it, that was rather an unusual place for honeymooners to stay!



The Retreat was where my parents and we as children stayed at Family Camp when we were teens. I can still see Mom's electric frying pan and Dad's coleman stove set up to cook our meals on the same porch where I enjoy my grandchildren now.



Well, as I said, I'm back to work now. My Mom is now one of the 64 residents in the facility where I work. She is just a shadow of the strong, independent woman she used to be, being wheelchair bound, unable to swallow or speak well, with stiffened limbs, all resulting from the debilitating effects of Progressive Nuclear Palsy and of aging. It is sad, but I am thankful I am here, working in my professional life and being able to give her some extra attention and care.



I guess that's enough for now. Break's over, time to get back to work.

New beginnings....

L

It is late, the candle is burning, I have begun a new adventure, blogging! I enjoy the late evening time, especially when there is a cup of tea in my favourite china cup and another with whom to share intimate conversation.
I have named my blog "candlelight conversations" not only because I enjoy the stillness and quietness of enjoying the late evening, but because I have been working steady nights for almost two years now. So the title refers to the night time, which I have begun to have as my time to be up and about, to work, and be comfortable in.
I'm hoping that this new experience will give me an opportunity to process my thoughts, vent, and who knows, may-be recieve feed back now and again.
So here goes my first blogging experience....Connie